


Every Night

by slashyrogue



Series: Inspired by Hugh [1]
Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Insomnia, M/M, Pining, Sad Adam Raki, Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashyrogue/pseuds/slashyrogue
Summary: It had been one hundred and six days.One hundred and six days of learning how to be alone again.Or Adam Raki is sent off to meet Nigel until it's safe and is losing hope so he starts to make webcam videos for Nigel.Inspired by Hugh Dancy's 24HourPlays monologue
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki
Series: Inspired by Hugh [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685005
Comments: 16
Kudos: 91





	Every Night

It had been one hundred and six days.

One hundred and six days of learning how to be alone again. 

Adam didn’t sleep much anymore, always cold and very lonely, but he read a lot of books. 

He didn’t go outside anymore to look at the stars, couldn’t look at the stars, but they were often in his dreams. 

Nigel was in his dreams too. 

He still remembered the last time they’d seen each other, the fear in Nigel’s eyes as he told him what he needed to do. 

Adam didn’t want to separate but Nigel told him to go, that he’d come after when the police weren’t looking for him anymore, but now he wasn’t sure. 

There was nothing online or television saying he’d been arrested so Adam knew they were still looking. So Adam spent most days reading, eating, and after the first thirty days he started to make videos with his webcam. 

Every video was for Nigel.

The words often came out jumbled when he got upset, angry, but he made them because Nigel wasn’t there to listen and there were things Adam still wanted him to know. 

That tiny bit of hope that maybe he’d have to use Plan B and move on again but Nigel might find the videos made him keep going. 

Some of the videos were sad, angry, happy, but they all ended with Adam saying the same thing. 

“Every night I close my eyes, all I see is you.” 

Adam hated that part, the end, and often his fingers shook when he stopped recording but he always stopped before Nigel could see him cry. 

Today’s video was going to be the hardest. 

It was March 17th. 

Adam’s birthday. 

Nigel had always surprised him on his birthday despite how often he said not to, and as the years went by Adam started to anticipate just what special things he’d have for him. 

The first year they were together he'd bought Adam a new telescope, and they’d sat together on the balcony watching the stars. 

The second year they were together he’d given him a brand new computer and an astro constellation watch. Adam still remembered watching Actor’s Studio on his laptop in each other’s arms that night in bed. Nigel fell asleep and when Adam kissed him goodnight he tasted like cigarettes. 

The third year he'd gotten down on one knee and given Adam an engagement ring made of meteorite. Adam still remembered how bright Nigel smiled when he said yes. 

And now he wouldn’t give him anything ever again. 

Adam’s fingers shook as he turned on the webcam but he pressed record, letting out a long breath as he tried to stay calm. 

“It’s been almost four months,” he whispered, “There’s a year’s worth of food for both of us you said. I guess now there’s two years if it’s just….me. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this anymore. I’m so tired.” 

He opened his eyes and a tear fell down his cheek. “I don’t want to meet new people or have a new life but I can’t….I miss you. I miss everything about you and you’re not here. I don’t like this, I don’t….it’s so quiet and nothing smells like smoke. I’m always so cold now and I….I always thought I liked being alone but that was before you. Everything about me was different before you, Nigel. I….” 

Adam covered his face as he let out a sob and when he looked up again he saw it was night. 

The days passed by so slowly now he’d hardly noticed. 

“I miss you,” he whispered, reaching out to touch the camera, “I miss….I miss the stars. No, that’s not right. I miss the stars with you. Do you,” he sniffled, “Do you want to look at the stars with me, Nigel?”

He picked up the computer and opened the patio door, walking out into the quiet backyard. There were no neighbors for miles, just like Nigel had always wanted, and when Adam sat in the patio chair he shivered. 

“The Big Dipper,” he said, staring up, “It’s....so….bright tonight. I….I wish you could see.” 

Adam closed his eyes and more tears fell. 

“It’s my birthday,” he whispered, “Did you forget?” 

“You never….” 

He heard the rustle and footstep behind him, frozen as he realized he’d left the gun inside. 

“I….” 

The intruder put a hand on Adam’s shoulder, leaning in enough that Adam could smell cologne and cigarettes. 

Adam let out a sob. 

“Happy Birthday to you,” Nigel whispered, kissing his cheek, “Happy Birthday to you….happy birthday dear, Star….Happy Birthday to…” 

Adam turned around so fast he nearly fell, grabbing onto Nigel and crashing their mouths together. He sobbed, barely able to breathe, as Nigel hugged him. 

“You..re….late.” 

“I’m sorry, Star,” Nigel whispered, nuzzling Adam’s tear stained cheek with tears of his own, “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Adam pulled back and looked at Nigel. He’d grown a beard, let his hair grow a little longer, and his eyes looked so tired. 

“I think this is my favorite birthday surprise.” 

Nigel smiled. “Then I guess it wasn’t all for nothing.” 

He kissed Adam again softly, tenderly, and when they pulled apart all Adam did was want more. 

“I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too, Darling. I was lost without you. I could barely eat or sleep. The fuckers they had me hiding with were….a chore. I’m so fucking tired, Star, but I couldn’t miss today.” 

Adam sniffled. “I’m tired too.” 

“I want to fuck you, take you apart, but...fuck.” 

He grabbed Nigel’s hand and started to pull them toward the door but stopped. 

“What is it?”    
  


Adam turned off the record and closed the laptop under one arm. He led them inside and Nigel closed the door when he set it on the table. 

“This place is a lot smaller than I remember.” 

“It felt so big here alone.” 

Nigel sighed. 

“Adam, I….” 

“Let’s go to sleep,” Adam said, holding out his hand, “I’m tired.” 

Nigel blinked. 

“Whatever you want, Darling.”    
  


They dressed down and climbed into the extra large bed. Adam started to cry when Nigel pulled him into his arms and felt a kiss on his cheek. 

“Every night I closed my eyes, all I saw was you.” 

Nigel nuzzled his cheek and Adam turned for a soft kiss that made him shiver. 

“You want to know what I saw every night when I closed my eyes, Star?”    
  


“What did you see, Nigel?” 

“I saw you, lying cold and alone in this gigantic fucking bed, and that’s what kept me going. I had to make you warm again.” 

Adam sighed. “Thank you.” 

“Happy Birthday, Star. You aren’t too warm, are you?” 

Adam didn’t answer him. 

He was already asleep. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
